#38 - Hook-Up

If you need me to "hook you up" in an institution where everything is free, you have failed not only as a patron of the library, but as an organism. You  may, in fact, be a fuck-up on a molecular level.

#37 - iFume

I'm not allowed to help you download music to the computers because it's illegal, against library policy, and it's Taylor Swift.

#36 - Tech Services

Technically, they provide a service.

#35 - Volunteens 2

Volunteens: Because babysitting your miscreant children during the school year alone isn't birth control enough.

#34 - Volunteens

Teen library volunteers: It's cheaper than a real summer camp.