#30 - What's Really Hood

When you donate your ghetto lit novel for collection consideration, then hear peals of laughter from the staff room? Don't get your hopes up.

#29 - Oops

You wouldn't have knocked over that book display if you had asked for the pencils behind the desk partition instead of reaching over it for them.

#28 - I Need a Job, Period

When you ask us to show you how to work the computer, you don't need to end every sentence with "'cause I need a job." You're in here every day for four hours a pop. No one is more aware that you need a job than I.

#27 - Press Pound for Parents

I won't confirm your identity by talking to your mom on your cellphone, not because it's against policy, but because you look like you have lice and ear mites.

#26 - Taxing

Whoever is still out there telling people that they can come to the library and that we'll "do their taxes for them" should stop now before I find them.

#25 - Gone in 30 Seconds

If you wait until you have 30 seconds left out of a 60-minute computer session to ask for my help with your resume, you're too stupid to live, let alone work.

#24 - Pop Pop

I'm not being nice so much as I am trying to be the person you spare when you finally go off your nut and shoot up the place.