#33 - Login

Q: "What the hell is a username?"
A: One of many reasons why you don't have a job.

#32 - Hard Time

I promise that I don't need to know why you were in prison to print this document for you.

#31 - What You Need

If you can comfortably say "I don't need nary a book," then you need EVERY book.

#30 - What's Really Hood

When you donate your ghetto lit novel for collection consideration, then hear peals of laughter from the staff room? Don't get your hopes up.

#29 - Oops

You wouldn't have knocked over that book display if you had asked for the pencils behind the desk partition instead of reaching over it for them.

#28 - I Need a Job, Period

When you ask us to show you how to work the computer, you don't need to end every sentence with "'cause I need a job." You're in here every day for four hours a pop. No one is more aware that you need a job than I.

#27 - Press Pound for Parents

I won't confirm your identity by talking to your mom on your cellphone, not because it's against policy, but because you look like you have lice and ear mites.